you boleh buat i nangis and gelak at the same time.
heeee iloveyou


clorox mata cepat!

...

somewhere along the line she said,

'...u doa mintak sayang you pd dye kurang sikit demi sikit...'

awak,
one day nnt kan
when my days aren't complete till i hear your voice
when my mind can't stop thinking about you
when my inbox is filled with your name
when my phone is full of your pictures
when my mind is full of photographic images of you
when i won't look for my phone the 1st thing in the morning
when every ring of the phone excites me
when seeing you erases all my worries
when i can't stop smiling like an idiot
when my heart jumps and beats faster just by hearing your voice
and when loving you hurts too much
i'll slowly tell my heart to let you go.

but till then,
stay close to me

UmiAyah

i miss this lil dude
i miss his smiling eyes
i miss pinching his small cute nose
i miss kissing that soft lips
i miss squeezing his plush cheeks

i miss his fat hands,
holding mine while walking
i miss his tummy,
against mine while hugging him
i miss his bumbum
wibblewobble while chasing him


sabar tyah, 3 minggu je lagi

another round of applause

yea people,
*clapclapclap*

history has repeated itself.

ape la nasib. brape kali dah kena macam ni.
again and again and again.

here's what happened earlier tonight.
maria,mimie and i went to jetty butterworth late last night,
we arrived there at 9.50pm
so then we bid her byebye.
mimie was looking for small change for the bus fare.
so i asked her, 'how bout we look for it dkt dgn bas?'
mmimie, 'jap jap *tgh korek bag cari coins*'
me, 'urm..the bus is leaving..'
mimie, 'haaa, ok. dah cukup'
me, '...the bus just left..'

hmm..now wat?
xpe, we'll wait for the next bus.
*waiting*
*waiting*
*still waiting*
erm...nape mkin kosong je tempat ni..
when's the last bus?
jom la tnye info counter tu.
'kak,last bus for rapid pkul brape?'
'nk blk mne?
'uitm'
'last bus pkul 10pm'
mimie,skang pkul brape?
erm..10.10pm
oh damn..
can i panic now?

pusing sane
pusing sni
jalan sane
jalan sni
panic sane
panic sni
call sane
call sni

ok, how bout we take the taxi?
oh,ok..
tgk taxi driver..oh crap..
brani tak?
TAK.
no choice la babe, kne jgk.
wait wait. tunggu i hilang panic dlu.
ARRGGHHH!!!!
ok,im a bit calmer. ok,ok, lets just take the taxi.

dah smpai uitm...

trima kasih acik
haa,ingt acik kte ape,
setiap kali jumpe pakcik, pkcik kasi satu nasihat, percuma.
haha, ok, thank you cik. assalamualaikum.

unconsciously we're being adventurous:D
jom lah mimie, next time kte mengembara lagi. hehehe:p

dumbstruck

just as i was so excited to go home and made the arrangements,
i got a text from umi:

tyah,ayah tak kasi balik =(

i was like...


mcm spongebob je, tak de la melampau sgt mcm patrick.

i was down..of course la..
sape tak down kan, tgh hyper plan nk blk, siap gelak2 kan org yg xdpt blk,
then suddenly, i was among those yg xleh blk...
gahhhh

a few minutes after i received that text from umi, she called.
i answered with the most saddest tone any human being could possibly bear listening.
you know how dramatic i can get..

me: umiiiii naakkk baliikkkkkkk
ayah: assalamualikum
me: oh. um..waalaikumsalam..
*sunyi*
ayah: nape nk blk?
me: ermm..nak balik:(
ayah: kan nk exam nnt. kalau balik sini nnt 2 minggu nnt blk sni blk.
me: 3minggu! its like a month!
ayah: ala, kejap je tu. hbs exam brape hb?
me: 14th..
ayah: pkul brape habis clas?
me: bukan kelas la yah, exam. my final paper.
ayah: oh, klas dh hbs? wat time?
me: 12pm
ayah: hmm..11.55am ayah dah sampai.
me: elehh..ok, kalau tyah tak blk, tyah nk sambal ikanbilis+kacang.
ayah: ok, esk umi post, jumaat sampai la
me: yay! thanks. but i still wanna go home.
ayah: buat ape?
me: i miss home. nak makan masakan umi. nak makan ramai2..
ayah: hmm..nnt ko blk, makan la.
me: hmm..fine..:(
ayah: nah, ayed nk ckp

ayed: ello?
me: ayed..ayah tak kasi balik..
ayed: *babbling*
me: ur suppose to pujuk them to take me home!
ayed: *babbling* ok, luviu,missu,muahhh abaii
me: IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!

*hang up*

messy,cluttered board

recently someone came up to me and said,

'you know what..i envy your life'

i laughed and asked her,
'do u see the state im in recently? im a mess. look at my room, look at my bed, look inside my locker. u know wat, just look at my desk n board. serabut!'

then she kept quiet and said that's not what she meant. she looked at my board and smiled.
she said: ur board explains it all.
so we looked closely at my messy, cluttered board. observed every single thing on it.

'see here, you have great friends, great family. you always have someone by your side. i hardly see you alone. when you're down, all you have to do is just pick up your phone and call someone and they'll be there for you..'


then finally i understand.










thank you for making me realized everything that i have:)

si gemok

i miss you
i miss your laugh
ur smile
the way you talk
the way you entertain me when im down
i miss the way you greet me after a long day
i miss the way you eat
how you ask me for things you want

i miss your hugs
ur kiss
ur laughter
ur fat comel comel touch

i miss you ayed..:(
datang la jmpe kak tyah kat sni:(
we'll sleep together though i wont get much sleep..lasak pnye budak.
then we'll drive around, pg jj n then makan bnyk2.
jalan sane, jalan sni.

go pujuk umi and ayah suruh dtg jmpe kak tyah tau:)
im counting on u yed;)

so wat?

i love you for who you are when you're with me.

i dont care anymore.
i dont care what others say.
i slalu jge hati orang lain. habis tu hati you ble plak i nak jage kan?
now its just you and me baybeh.

youandme

CUKUP

umi,
penat lah.
penat nak jaga perasaan orang.
penat nak puaskan hati orang.
penat nak gembirakan hati orang.

tyah dah penat dh umi,
dah tepu otak fikir pasal orang lain.
sebab tu tyah nak balik.
tyah nak jauh dari semua kat sini.
penat. tension. rimas. panas.
semua ada.

tapi tyah tau,
umi akan kata jangan give up.
sabar.
im trying. i really am.
but..sampai bila?

ntah la..
maybe salah tyah.
maybe tyah terlalu garang
maybe tyah terlalu cerewet
maybe tyah terlalu mendesak
maybe tyah terlalu inginkan sesuatu
maybe tyah terlalu panas baran
maybe tyah terlalu mengharap
mabye tyah terlalu tak considerate tentang orang lain
maybe tyah terlalu sibuk sampai tak hiraukan orang lain

tapi sampai bila tyah nak fikir pasal orang lain je?
tyah pon ada perasaan.
tyah pon penat jugak.
tyah pon ad banyak benda kena settle jugak.
serious, tyah dah penat.
sometimes tyah rasa nak jerit sekuat hati.
other times tyah rasa nak nangis..
tapi tyah pendam je. tahan sampai xde orang tengok.
tyah dh xmampu nk sorok lagi dah.
i can't be me without showing who i am.
sometimes late at night i feel that i've lost myself.
i need to go home.
to regain myself.
to remind me of who i am.

i need someone to lean on here.
but there's no one.
there's no one to take my hand and ask me 'how was your day?'
no one to tell me 'it's not over, the game has just begun'
no one to say 'its ok tyah, i know you're capable'
no one.

that's why i HAVE to go home.